The Aftermath

Tomorrow marks 5 weeks since my last ever (hopefully!!!) chemo treatment. It’s gone so fast. But I am finding myself counting down the days until my next appointment.

During chemo, I was at the hospital at least once a week for blood tests, chemo, clinic appointments etc. Now it feels weird not to have been there for so long, and it’s only been 3 weeks since I was last seen.  It’s so strange. I should be ecstatic that I’m not at hospital every week any more. But I just feel a bit lost. At least when I was being seen every week for chemo and bloods, I had people to ask if I wasn’t sure of anything. Now, if I get a sore throat or a cough I’m not sure what to do. Do I call my GP? Do I call the haematology department? What I’ve actually done is kept quiet and hope it goes away!

The rules have changed now, and I’m not sure how to play it!

I’ve read about a lot of people that have gone through chemo and have coped absolutely fine, but when chemo has finished, they’re not sure what to do and can’t cope. Others are just glad it’s over. I’m not sure what category I fall into just yet, and I’m sure time will tell. I need closure on the whole thing, I know that much for sure, and I hope I get that when I get my scan results.

Then there’s the whole scan results thing. How do I know who I need to contact, and who can find out on the blog/twitter/facebook? I don’t want to offend anyone, but at the same time, I can’t contact everyone in my phone book, and neither do I want to.

In other news… Did you know that this week (13th – 19th September) is Lymphatic Cancer Awareness week? The lovely Lymphoma Association have launced their PITS campaign in order to make young people aware of lymphoma. Lymphoma is the 6th most common cancer, and within the under 30’s age group, it is the most common, yet we know so little about it. Next week, I’m going to Birmingham City University to help the Lymphoma Association with their campaign and talk to the students about it. I’m really looking forward to it, and hopefully, it will help keep my mind off my scan the day after!

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One response to “The Aftermath

  • vesna

    Roz, I just completed 4 cycles ABVD and 12 radiation treatments, my last treatment being September 9th and I’m very much in the same situation as you! What a relief to know someone else out there feels like I do. I describe it as being that “fish out of water.” For 6 months I had a routine; go to the hospital, get treatment, go home, be sick, sleep a lot, go back to the hospital, more treatment, etc, etc. Now I’m back at work and I feel lost like you do. I guess I got so used to going to the hospital frequently that, despite my hate of it, it was what I did. I was a cancer patient. Now what am I (besides a cancer survivor?).

    It may sound macabre to feel weird for not having to go to the hospital. I mean, when we had to do it, we were counting the days to when this would all be over. But you’re right, what do we do now if we have a cough or a fever or an unientifiable ache?

    I just want you to know you are not alone in your thinking.

    Vesna

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