I am now without a thyroid.
Surgery went ahead as planned on Friday, and I spent 3 nights in hospital, only being discharged yesterday. That was a long 3 nights. I had a drain in which they only removed on Sunday, and my calcium levels were low, which is why they kept me in for the third night. I am now also on medication for that as well as 125mg of Thyroxine.
I still have no voice, although they assured me that they haven’t damaged my vocal nerve.
I had a meltdown in hospital on Sunday. I haven’t had a huge amount over the last year, but I have had a couple. I’m just done. I’ve got no fight left anymore. I can’t do it. I’m done.
I can’t bear the thought of going through the radio-iodine treatment and being in hospital in isolation, and then being away from Jake for some weeks after. So I’m talking to my consultant when I see him and telling him I’m not having it done yet. I spoke to my key-worker about this yesterday and he said that I won’t be the first person who has chosen to do that. I just want some life for a bit. I want to have another baby, I don’t want to be away from Jake anymore. I’ve been in hospital enough over the last year and it’s unsettling for him.
This operation has left me feeling much worse than last time. I’m in more pain. I was in hospital an extra 2 nights, I had a drain in for an extra 36 hours, my stitches are in for longer, I feel constantly nauseous and my voice is yet to return.
Jake keeps pointing at my wound saying “hurt, poorly, hurt” and kissing it better for me, which is very sweet. We are currently taking up residency at my in-laws, so that we can both be looked after, I can be with him, and Neil doesn’t have to take any time off work.
So that is it in a nutshell. I have Slimming World weigh in tonight, which I know isn’t going to go well, but having been in hospital for so long, it was out of my hands!