Do you know, even though I finished chemo seven months ago, I still have my down days? I can’t explain why they happen, I just know that they do. And I hate them.
Yesterday was a prime example. I went to my Slimming World weigh in (a measly pound off, if anyone is wondering), left Jake with my parents for the afternoon/evening, so that I could go to the Lymphoma Support Group. While I was home alone, I started looking through photo’s of when I was pregnant and when Jake was tiny, and got to wondering if the cancer was already there, trying to pinpoint at what stage it start growing and invading my body.
But, I also see a different person. I’m thinner, my face looks younger, I had nice hair, I looked happy. Now it’s all changed and I can’t ever see myself going back to that, but it’s all I want.
I want to look back on photo’s and feel that I grew old gracefully, not because cancer forced me to, and sucked the life out of me.