Today, you are 2. Where the last 2 years have gone, I don’t know. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you. I had got home from work, and I was so tired, and I just had an inkling. Daddy was out at the cinema with Uncle Nick, and I was waiting for Nanny, Granddad and Uncle Michael to come and pick me up, because we were going to the cinema too. I thought I’d do a test, even though it was the evening, and I know it’s best to do them in the morning. I thought I saw a really faint line, but wasn’t sure, and while I was waiting, the doorbell rang and it was Granddad. I had to sit through the whole film wondering if you were there or not! I was so, so happy when I realised you were.
When you were born, I asked the midwives not to tell me if you were a boy or a girl, because I wanted to see for myself. When they gave you to me, I just held you close and was looking at you. They had to remind me to check, but I didn’t care. You were perfect. I knew there and then I would fight to the death for you. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
Not long after you were born, I began to realise that I wasn’t very well, and when you were still very small, at only 8 months old, I found out I had cancer. I am so sorry that you had to put up with that when you were so young. You shouldn’t have had to see your mummy going through all that, but I want to say thank you for filling my days with smiles, gurgles, cuddles and sloppy kisses. On days that I might have usually just stayed in bed, I knew that you needed your mummy.
Before my operation last January, I made Daddy promise to look after you if anything happened to me, and to make sure that you knew about me and how much I loved you. I wanted to write you a letter then, for you to keep if anything happened, but I couldn’t, because every time I thought about what to write, I would cry. Now, I tell you about twenty times a day that I love you!
You have so many people that love you, me and Daddy, your grandparents, great grandparents, Uncle Michael, Aunty Chrissy, Uncle Nick, and so many more people that I couldn’t even list. Even the doggies love you.
You are so clever. Every day I see you learn something new. You are funny and cheeky, and so handsome.
I am so proud of you. I hate the fact that you are growing up so quickly, but I love the fact that I am still here to watch you do it. I will try my hardest not to put you through that again.
So carry on doing what you are doing, and remember that Mummy and Daddy love you lots xx